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| - See anything particularly recent on here? No? That's because this has become a rant journal as LJ is dead. Go on. Look. You'll find rants about various things.
- I am not a happy person. I can remember being temporarily happy, but the last time I remember being genuinely happy is when I was a little kid. It's not that I'm so fucking depressed that I am miserable 100% of the time; it's that I have issues that I am capable of acknowledging, and would rather not announce everywhere, that make it difficult for me to be genuinely happy.
- That being said, I'm glad that those of you who have taken the time to take a rant way too seriously have shown yourselves.
- I comprehend how that rant was offensive, but it honestly was not written to offend. I'm not saying that I didn't write those things, but I never meant for them to offend. I couldn't find my hard-copy journal and I needed to rant. I turned to LJ because it was dead.
- You can call that an excuse, but it's the truth. I try too hard not to offend, and it's annoying as fuck.
- I should remember to friend-lock things like that from now on, but whatever. Moving on.
- Relating back to point #2. I have a lot of issues in my home life. Most people do. However, I have certain issues that I do not discuss with people because politesse has been drilled into my brain from the time I was a child. Do not think that just because I don't discuss those issues means that they don't exist.
- Don't start feeling special. If you've taken the time to read a single other one of my rants, you'll notice a pattern: they're all small annoyances. I hold things in, without fail. I repress and I repress because getting upset over every annoyance is one way to be absolutely miserable. I repress and I repress and eventually something - 90% of the time, a very small nitpicky thing - causes me to snap and break and rant.
- That being said, you are confusing and you were sending massive mixed signals. Glad we got that one cleared up.
- Go ahead and laugh at this whole post, but I feel like, were I in your position, I would expect an explanation. This is it, whether or not you read it.
- But... I don't feel bad for it. You know why? It was a fucking rant. If you'd see my personal journal (legitimate pen-and-paper journal), you'd see all of the little things that build up that I repress and push from my mind. I could make a post about each and every one of those things, but I won't.
- I'm not going to stop repressing. Holding things in isn't healthy, but if I were healthy about this, then there'd be a breakdown every week.
- I'm glad that I'm not eleven anymore. I totally obliterated my best friend's life and trust in me because she did something stupid like this. I made myself miserable, I isolated myself, and I convinced myself that it was entirely her fault. Because I got mad at her for blowing me off and she got mad at me and ranted. I destroyed her trust in me, and, though she wasn't exactly innocent, I did some things that I definitely shouldn't have done. (I'm not saying that we were best friends, but I'm not about to tell the entire school your deepest darkest secrets).
- If prom wasn't it, then what was it? I didn't think it was a big deal until you started blowing me off afterward, not before. Perhaps it was like this, something small that just made it too much to bear.
- ...I just would like to know how the title was offensive in and of itself. That was "argh", the noise people make when they're frustrated. Also a word that people use to sound like pirates. You said that the title was offensive. "Argh" is not exactly offensive.
- Also, if the preface didn't make it clear: that was never intended to be read. But at this point, I'm really past caring.
- Thanks for telling me who told her. Like, honestly, it's 90% more amusing now.
- All of that being said, I have two remaining points:
- This makes me really rather happy, which I certainly didn't expect at first. Not genuinely happy happy, but more content and pleased with the overall situation. I know that things will be different, but that's perfectly okay with me.
- Have a nice day.
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| Stupid ranty post that probably belongs on tumblr, but the boyfriend of friend I'm about to complain about follows me, and she uses his computer to look through tumblr stuff through his account. ( below the cut ) | |
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| WHOVIAN( Read more... )I used citadel_icons Slytherin scarf as a base for the coding, and a knit-your-own Doctor Who scarf tutorial I found through Google for the colours. | |
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| Pretty boring, honestly. It was just syllabi and teachers droning on and on. Homeroom teacher is my old APUSH teacher who absolutely loves me, which is good. Discrete Maths and Statistics looks terribly dull, but the teacher's easy and I can eat in class, so I really can't complain. Theatre level IV. Honestly, I thought that I'd walk in and be filled with dread because none of my friends are in that class. However, it was actually fairly enjoyable, and WE MIGHT TAKE A TRIP TO LONDON IN MAY! Basically we're the ideas class and there are only like seven people including me. Phys Ed. I am with all freshmen except for one person. Like. Usually they combine PE I and PE II, but no. ALL freshmen. Lunch. Last lunch of the day, which makes no sense because one would need to absorb chemical energy in order to participate in a physical activity-based class to the best of their ability, which would mean first lunch. But no. Fucking last lunch. x_x Aand French, which is a joke, and I noticed errors in my teacher's French. Assigned seats near some people who I get along with fairly well but am not actually friends with. It's also a very very small class.
Anyway, I need to finish my AP Physics work but I'm exhausted. I might write about tomorrow, but whatever. | |
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| My friend is taking three AP classes, one of which all of my friends took last year and said it was hell, and one of which I took last year and had a lot more homework than I could handle, and the last one... is AP Calc. What's more, she's planning on doing this all by hand, without any aid from the internet.
This is the one who despaired over being ranked 17/~350.
Meanwhile, I'll be sitting in my one AP class and doing makeup work in my DO NOTHING French class (one good thing about Gibby) and be doing theatre which in addition to being fun, doesn't require a lot of homework, like "Who thinks a B average is bad now?"
It's just. Junior year is your most important, and I already had one friend fall 20 places in his ranking from taking two of those classes, and managing to cheat and get good grades with what he got off the internet. Oh yeah, did I mention that I got my schedule sorted? One AP class, but that's cool, cos it's physics. I'll still have stoney Doney for maths, so it's all good. XD</p> | |
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| Okay, I'm not being egotistical, but I am one of the smartest people I know.
It is therefore fucking ridiculous that my friends' parents think that I'm some goddamn idiot for being on the - OMFG GET THIS - B honour roll.
I'm sorry, but I think that I know quite a bit more than them about classes that I've taken that their kids haven't.
Especially when it's AP US History when my teacher said that I was the best student he had all year. I can tell you what he likes to get insofar as assignments and what he doesn't like; and I can tell you right now that IDs take goddamn hours to find on even fucking wikipedia, so let's not even talk about going through the book and writing them all by hand - especially when you've got goddamn awful handwriting.
The only thing that the APUSH teacher prefers handwritten is notes. That's it. Not the IDs.
It's just. Fuck. I'm fucking smart. I just procrastinate. I fucking hate that people think that I'm not as smart as their goddamn prodigies just because I procrastinate, especially since it's a legitimate problem that I have. | |
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| So I've opened a FMA RP called twentyoneguns. It's located on proboards here. twentyoneguns is set in 1916, one year after the Promised Day. Führer Grumman has taken control of the country, Roy Mustang is trying to make amends with Ishval, Jean Havoc is going through physical therapy, and the Elric brothers are about to set off to discover more about alchemy. What will happen? Well, it's all up to you. We are in need of: Alphonse and Edward Elric, mostly, at the moment. We accept both canons and OCs, and have a fairly simple app. If you're at all interested, either comment to learn more, or check us out! Our staff is very friendly, and we're an active board. | |
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| Everyone knows the MP3 Challenge. Put your iTunes or iPod on shuffle, and write a ficlet to whatever song comes up. You only have the length of the song to write the ficlet. These are my RPCs: ( Leo Abraxas Knollys )( Emmeline Mary Vance )( Gareth Liam Carmichael )( Tristan Ryan Frederick )More will be added later~ Characters left: Regulus Arcturus Black (obviously not an OC, but I play him on two RPs, so...) Neville Longbottom (again: not an OC, but I play him) Bertram Gérard Aubrey Matthew Jonathan Vaisey Nicole Victoria Selwyn Lien Hue Nguyen Rebecca Catalina (again: not an OC, but i play her) Anneliese Fieseler Alphonse Elric (I play him, too) | |
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| I got my wisdom teeth taken out Friday. (All four). As such, I'm on a variety of painkillers, can't eat my favourite food, and now I have bright yellow bruises on my jaw from the surgery. DX
What's more, the painkillers are making me more absent-minded (okay, ditzy) than normal, which is A Very Bad Thing.
Italia's in Australia, and that means I don't have her constant barrage of texts to keep me occupied (and amused). Which means, thusly, I am blindly searching the Internet and doing random things without thinking because I've slept so much that my body won't let me sleep anymore. But I'm tired. Meh.
...I think I must've reserved characters on five RPs in the past week, and I've sent over 200 llamas on deviantART (100+ yesterday alone. They literally blocked me from sending llamas for twenty minutes).
ON THE BRIGHT SIDE There's only like two weeks till LeakyCon~!
...This is probably entirely incoherent, and I'm probably going to look at this tomorrow and feel extremely confused. Well, that's what painkillers and fatigue do to a person.
Also. I love Los Campesinos!. | |
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| Thank god that I'm a senior. But. Seriously. Because my teacher forgot to grade my rough draft (when he said he would), my lit grade for the semester is an 83 (with a 95 on the exam). Last semester, because I was going through all kinds of shit from October to December, it was a 78 (100 on the exam). Because of this, I'm being forced to go into a CP class for lit next year. CP classes are generally the "average" classes. There are the stupid people who somehow manage to get through with Cs, the jocks who need CP classes to make the team, the idiots who sit there and do nothing, the not-quite-smart people who actually work quite hard, and the smart people who don't do any work. HOWEVER. Because Cape is stupid and Cape and therefore stupid, they're merging the CP and Applied classes (for the REALLY lazy/stupid). Apparently this is to boost their ratings with the state or whatever, but it's just going to set a lot of people back. And I will be damned if I have to take a CP lit class ever again. Once was more than enough. So I'm sending in a requirement override request form, because goddammit, I passed the class, and aced the exams. My teacher told me that I was the only one who aced the first semester exam, let alone got a 100. Also, I am not going to take AP Physics, of all classes, and AP Statistics, and AP Human Geography and/or AP European History but be in a CP lit class. That's just stupid. If they'd take a look at my SAT scores in lit, they'd certainly have no qualms with letting me take an honours class, as I scored higher than my friends who are in actual college lit classes.
Urgh. Just. The fuck. >_<
I mean, god forbid they look at my other grades (all As and Bs with the exception of music tech, which was a C, because it's stupid and I didn't feel like doing the work). I have an 88% cumulative GPA, and a 90% semester GPA. This is just ridiculous. - Tags:grades, school
- Mood:infuriated
 - Music:Light <- Next to Normal OBC
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